Between Inner- Authority and Transformation

Living on the "crossroad" between the Human-Design experiment and the Gene Keys-
A Case Study

I recently experienced a very refreshing communication  with a member of this GKs forum, where we shared with each other our experience as two people who apply and experiment with both systems, Human-Design and GKs.

Following this conversation, I want to bring up a kind of "case-study" that has happened to me recently, to demonstrate how these two perspectives can be implemented in one's life, simultaneously.

I think it is very difficult to explain the integration of these systems (or approaches) in a theoretical way, and that only through direct experience can one see how it is actually possible to combine them in "real time".

Here is the story:
I have been working in an office at the university for many years, and for many of those years I sat alone, in my own space.

If you know my HD chart, and you have some understanding of it, you might understand why i felt it was very natural for me, if not even important, to sit by myself.

Furthermore, it's important for me to be free to decide on this subject of "who's in my aura". At most- I can be asked about it … and most likely I would prefer to stay alone in my space.

So what happened was – that one day they decided to put someone into my room.

There really is a shortage of space here in the building … and they really had to hire someone new, and a decision was taken.

As for me, I implored to find another solution … even protested, and explained gently but clearly that this would not suit me …
Still, the situation was such that I had no choice but to surrender.

Now, according to the HD experiment, this is a kind of "No No" …
It is not a "correct" situation- a decision was simply forced on me from the outside. On me! With my defined ego, with all the defined centers. They decided for me who would be in my aura.

I felt helpless in this situation, and went into quite a Twirl of stressful  thoughts about "how to escape from this place" … as I have, many times before.

Let's jump to this present time, for a minute.

About two months ago there was an "explosion" and the lady was taken out of this room. In the meantime, a certain other space was created, and she is sitting there now.

What I see on my body is just a great relief! I seem to be breathing and relaxing for the first time in a long time.

And really, she wasn't a mean or unpleasant woman – she was just another person in my aura … I did not invite this, and I did not want this. And it just wasn't right for me.
That's it. And that's enough.

 So what does all that mean?

If I hold the HD knowledge very tightly, I might say that this was all a mistake. All wrong. That it was wrong of my part to surrender to such a situation in which "they tell me" what to do … that I did not listen to my inner authority.

The point is – I did listen to my inner authority … and it said "No" … and I expressed that No, verbally.

Also, when matters between us came to a crisis, and we saw that this situation can not continue like this, I had the possibility of saying – "I said in advance that it was difficult for me and did not suit me".

So listening to "the Sacral", or to "the body's will", has several levels to it;
In more simple cases, it can be expressed as a plane refusal to something, which puts an end of the story.
But in more complex cases, listening to authority can only be expressed by saying, "This is not what I prefer" … although the situation can not adjust itself to my wants at that moment. The clarity of this expression also has its advantages. 

Now, there's another matter here.
The fact that i was in a situation that did not suit what I feel was correct for me, led to an inner dilemma… to a feeling of friction … or simply – to "Suffering."

And here, as far as I'm concerned, is where the Gene Keys come in.
Ra's message through Human-Design can gives the impression that if we live by S&A, our lives will be simply frictionless, we will simply do what the body tells us to do. 
In practice, I find this is not always the case.

Apart from our Inner Authority, assuming we are attentive to it and its voice is clear to us – we have inside our psyche other "parts" and voices who influence our behavior. For example, Fearful parts.

I have discovered that fear sometimes runs me, so I can't always follow my own whims or desires, or even, my "inner authority". And here, as already noted, a dilemma arises … and Suffering appears.
The question is- what to do with this suffering, how to deal with it?

I recently heard Richard say in one of his more "serious" texts (about Corpus Christi) the sentence "Suffering … is Grace".
In this sentence, I feel, is hidden a very radical truth that stands at the core of the work with the GKs-
The Gene Keys are a tool that invites us into the process of transforming "suffering" … (or emotional and somatic pain).

The presence of the GKs in my life (and other tools for emotional work, presence and surrender) enabled me to go through this period of a year and a half of undesirable "compromise" – in a different and more favorable way.

I experienced quite a bit of friction and discomfort inside me with this situation – and I was assisted by the tools of both HD and GKs …
When I felt nervous, I tried to implement waiting, according to my emotional authority, instead of lashing out or expressing my tension immediately.
When it felt clear, I set limits as calmly as possible. When I felt there was unnecessary talking around me, I allowed myself to be silent … as suited to my defined throat …
All these are tools that come from the HD experiment… But then, at the same time, I breathed into my stomach, leaning on GKs that felt where connected to what I was going through, watching the shadows inside me, giving them space and acceptance, and experiencing transformation.

No, I did not transform so radically that the situation stopped bothering me.
It's a little surprising for me to see how much the lady's exit from my space feels so right to me … despite all the "inner work" that has taken place within me in this period.
So yeh … I have learned, I went through a process … but still  … this is definitely enough for me … and I do not want more of this …
"I've had enough" from the beginning, to be honest …
But then … what happened – just happened.

So, again, what does all that say?
Was the friction and difficulty I was experiencing during this period "wrong" for me (HD)? Or maybe they worked to my advantage, giving me emotional material to transform and transcend (GK)? 

The answer is probably – Both.

The Human-Design experiment allows us to listen to our "inner compass" … even to a complex and elusive inner compass like "emotional authority," which crystallizes over time.
But, despite how it sometimes seems, this does not enable us to get rid of all the friction in life.
At moments when circumstances, or fears, do not allow us to accept what we want -here GKs allows us to take a breath and adopt a deeper and wider approach to what is happening. It allows us to look at things from a broader perspective, which also takes into consideration matters of "karma", issues of transforming our shadows … and using difficult situations for a higher good (or evolution).

Thus, a person who is adept to both of these tools, HD and GKS, can be said to be receiving "backup" from several "fronts" …
On the one hand- they learn to get in touch with their natural and authentic boundaries, and with their authentic flow, through contact with the body's guidance (inner-authority),

On the other hand, they have tools of emotional work and transformation- for cases when they still encounters difficulty or disharmony.

Intuition (external flow) works in cooperation and synergy with the presence of compassion (internal flow), thus complementing each other …

In other words:
When in doubt – Strategy& Authority.
And if it still feels "hard" –  just Breathe into the pain (Contemplate).
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This Article is devoted to SatYa Lirah,
Our fertile communication somehow "mothered" this sharing.