A link to the YT video where i read this article
קישור למאמר זה בעברית יתעדכן כאן בהמשך
The following insights came to me one day while walking around the block, but they are a distillation and maturation of experiences and thoughts that have been brewing in me for many years.
Part of this maturation I attribute to my recent encounter with the materials of a teacher and friend named Doug Scott, whose ability to express insights in a concise manner- was very helpful for me.
I also benefited from being exposed to the lineage of teachers that influenced him such as: Richard Rohr, Thomas Keating, and Thomas Merton – all of them (including Doug) deal in one way or another with the subject of the "authentic self", and its connection to the spiritual path.
A large part of my insights here also derive from my personal and in-depth process with the Human Design System, and my experience with practicing "strategy & authority" – or simply – practicing listening intently to my inner intuition.
It is important for me to point out – that when I mention "God" in this article – it is not as a religious concept, and that I don't live a religious lifestyle per-se. My perspective is spiritual, and developmental…. I am inspired by all spiritual wisdom teachings, and I don't "belong" to any of them.
God – and our inner "light of consciousness" are – as far as I'm concerned-
more or less the Same Element.
How to live as an authentic person in a world that is… less than authentic
Contemporary man has a tendency to think "dualistically", or in dichotomies, meaning: this-as oppose to-that, then trying to choose one thing out of the two. Either I'm good, or I'm bad. Either I'm "material", or spiritual.
Either: the purpose of life is to be completely spiritual…submit myself to the divine will,
Or: the purpose of life is material, egoistic, and aimed at adhering to the ego, its needs, and its desires.
In other words – either I am individual –or- I am spiritual.
But that's not true… The truth is that you don't have to choose between the two. There is, indeed, a Choice… even a brave one-to be made – but it is not between these two.
The secret I'm pointing to- is the very complex meeting between the two (individual and spiritual), and a third byproduct that results from this meeting – which is: Authentic Living.
It's like the saying – "it takes two to tango".
To live an authentic life- it is not enough to connect only to the individual aspect of us, nor is it enough to connect only to God (the spiritual aspect).
One needs both. We need the combined synergy between them…
There's a need for the individual to Connect to God – to discover ourselves.
When this happens, what we get is an authentic movement in the world…. Compared to an "inauthentic" life, which is a life in which we have not examined our patterns and the conditioning within us, we have not "dismantled" them…. And we did not allow the divine presence (or simply – the light of awareness) to dismantle all the traumas & residual remnants in us…
And so we move in the world out of patterns of protection… out of attachment to all kinds of satisfaction or lack, and out of conditioning (mainly social), and not out of our True Essence.
So basically- there are two forces that may be named here:
One – is our innate Essence, which includes the gifts we brought into this world. This Essence is "covered up" by a layer of protection and patterns that may be named the "false/separate self".
The second force – is the "Light of Awareness" or the Divine Impulse, which is the only force that can "save" that True Essence from its "prison" (prison of the patterns), and unveil it anew, so that it can come into contact with life, and function in it.
This encounter is an encounter that can only happen in the present moment, in the Now, because the Divine Presence is a power that only works Now, in this moment (a Vertical power – more about this further on).
Therefore, in the process of "liberating" the Authentic Self from its prison, the "false personality" also needs to undergo a change, in which it becomes Devotional. In such a process – the false personality gradually changes its goals so that it becomes dedicated to the service of the Authentic Life – it becomes an instrument functioning to remind us, and gather methods – how to be constantly open, in this moment, to the Divine Light of Awareness (note: this is, basically, what Religions tried to do).
This change in the "false personality" happens out of a logical comprehension – that this is the last path possible for me – if I'm going to save myself from myself… from my falseness. The insight – that the right way is Surrender to "this moment", and to the Light of Awareness available in it.
Thus, the false personality gradually becomes a "servant" (Stuart as they say in the Fourth Way approach) – that is devoted to the task – of bringing me again and again to focus on this moment and what is here and now.
And so, the "Spiritual Path" is not only spiritual. The Spiritual Path is also the path of the inner child (the Essence) to free itself – and succeed in existing in the world as itself.
For this to happen, you have to sacrifice everything. You can't hold on to any external or pre-defined notion of "success", or what an Authentic Life would look like. Only the bare encounter, in this moment, between the Essence (inner child, the Son of God) and its source (Consciousness, God), can bring about the special alchemy that will allow Authentic movement in life.
It is impossible to "do it" by ourselves, alone – because we have the tendency to get caught up in the external world, its temptations and conditioning.
Each time we are required to clean up the external conditioning, again and again.
"Sacrifice everything" – may sound grandiose and daunting… but in fact it's simple.
The way this "cleansing" is done – is only in this moment, Right Now – learning to be present to our patterns, and shedding every time anew, moment by moment, the mask, the shells, to remain "naked before God".
This shedding is done first and foremost in front of ourselves (in front of God), and it is an internal process, which trickles down…. There is no need to take large external steps, which feel forceful to us. There is no need to force ourselves to sacrifice everything in the outer domain – it is only required to be present. Inside.
I wish to digress mildly, maybe, to mention here the concept of Liminal Space that Doug Scott introduced to me – which is a kind of inner mental posture, that "holds" the consent Not to Know. This is a mental space that can be cultivated within… but it is not only agreeing not to know Conceptually (in terms of opinions and ideas), but for me- it is the readiness to Not Know – in an Existential way… that is- agreeing, at any moment, to really not know who I am and where I'm headed.
Doug Scott also brought me the concepts of the Floating self (the detached, seemingly "false" self),
And the Anchored Self (the connected, Authentic Self).
The "connected"/Authentic Self can only exist in the world- when there is direct contact with "God" (or the inner Light of Presence), a contact that takes place every time anew… in This Moment.
It can be said that in order to live an authentic life – you have to agree to "crucify yourself" every time.
Yes, this sounds Christian- something which is not so accepted in today's Israel (where I'm writing this), but it just describes it in the best way. The meaning is that in life – we always reach a point of "a Fall", time and time again.
Time and time again we try to act in the world and move in it – while using all of our accumulated resources and strategies.
But life seems to lead us eventually to a "breaking" point, a point where the old strategies no longer work. At that point- we find ourselves overwhelmed, or incapable, or exhausted… or confused… or depressed.
These are situations where we can no longer move forward, and we are forced to throw up our hands – and Not Know.
And there, in this impasse – we are forced to come into This Moment, and into contact with the "Divine Impulse" (or the divine logic, beyond reason)…. And there- some kind of Alchemy is already taking place.
"The Fall"
But to reach Alchemy between us and "God", we usually need to go through the Fall. These impasses come to a person periodically, once in a while (or once in an hour, a minute…), and in each such cycle – we can become more and more precise… aligned… integrated.
I would say that the "Bach Flowers Remedies" are useful for these kinds of Falls.
The Fall, especially the big ones, has different stages;
There is the stage before the fall, and there is the stage when I am falling right now, in this very moment… Oh no! This is an emergency, an acute situation. There is a stage where I just had a fall, and I don't know what will become of me, and how to pick myself up…
A large scale fall can take years…. Sometimes it takes years to "humiliate" that false self – and to receive the message that it's time to change or open up to something new… We are very stubborn, we are very conditioned and dependent on our habits.
So there is a phase of "learning" – where we say "Ok, I accept the fall, I agreed with the fall. I'm no longer just in shock and angry or grieving that it happened – rather I accepted it, and now I am ready to do the work… "
The phase of Learning (after the fall) can also take years…. years of surrendering, years of falling apart… of agreeing not to know.
And then after the dismantling, from this dismantling… little by little the truer side begins to emerge… from the True Essence. Then, after the recovery – there is the stage where a person begins to go back into the world – but they are anxious, because they have fallen. "What will become of me, I might fall again"…. and slowly you muster up the courage to go out again.
There is also an additional stage – of maintaining the authentic self after it is "reborn", and is functioning again in the world…
At each stage I mentioned here- we have all kinds of thoughts, feelings and attitudes – which require support, because we have fallen. It's actually like "rehabilitation"…. and this is where the Bach flower remedies come in, which serve to support the person in this process.
The Person- as a plant or a flower
People who have already gone through said "falls" in their life- may come to the insight (conscious, or not so conscious) that I will try to present here-by.
I call it "the person as a plant", and I credit some of my inspiration for this way of thinking to a dear gentleman named Julian Bernard – who is a teacher of Bach Remedies, maker of them, and a unique & exquisite person.
The follow ideas here are not his – but there is something of him in them.
For the case at hand- I'll use as a metaphor – a plant that produces Flowers, and also bears Fruits.
A plant has different "levels of being" to it, like a person.
For example – it has the flower, and the fruit.
I liken the fruit to our "service" to the world. The way in which the world can "taste" us… it can be an occupation, a job, a way of self-expression or creative work. Something that people or other creatures can enjoy.
The flower is our Essence. It is also an aspect that is expressed externally, but it is not an action. Rather, it's how we are in the world. For example, I am naturally sensitive and introspective… deep. I've always been like that, since childhood. It is part of my essence. It's not necessarily my direct service to people, but you can enjoy it in my company. Just as we enjoy the smell and beauty of a flower.
We'll come back to this later.
Our culture tends to encourage us to focus "obsessively" on these two external aspects – the flower and the fruit. And that, quite simply, "messes us up".
It makes us constantly strive and concentrate on "what I do in life" and "how I seem to other people". The fruit (external action) and the flower (external appearance/character).
These are two things that we are not supposed to deal with directly at all – they are supposed to arise from within us in a natural way. To flow from within. But because we are constantly "messing" with them, it causes distortion – and we actually fail to produce the fruit and to be the flower that we truly are. Because society constantly "washes our brains" – with the result, how it looks, what I'm doing, and whether I was able to "fulfill myself"…etc.
Not only that – but in our culture we are constantly "pumped" with other people's fruits and flowers. We're made to wish we could be like someone else. We are told that we should do Great Things in life.
Rather, i say – every person is supposed to "reach greatness"… but not everyone's "greatness" will look "great".
What i mean by that, is that it could be that your greatness is simply to walk this earth as yourself, and breathe, as yourself, and thus you make your contribution. People are contributed by this, yet, not all "greatness" is necessarily extroverted or especially "noticeable".
Focusing within
In any case, in my opinion, we should focus on other parts of the plant. On the "interior" parts – the Stem, the Leaves and the Roots. It is a constant work of "cleansing" (as stated at the beginning of the article).
In this model – the stem – is the emotional aspect. The leaves are the mental aspect- the thought patterns.
The roots– I liken to our family history, the deep patterns, past memories that activate us from within- usually without our knowledge (intergenerational history).
The way to "cleanse" the conditioning we have received from society, and our wrong ideas about what we are supposed to do in life (fruit) and how we are supposed to be (flower) – is to cleanse what's going on in our thoughts and feelings, and also what's in our "roots", the relics of the past .
This may sound complicated, and it's true- it takes time…. but it's simply about awareness and self-acceptance. To know ourselves, and to accept ourselves. Very simple (Not always easy).
This means to know our feelings and thoughts, to be more and more present to them, and to know the contents that dwells in our subconscious (roots), to accept it, to agree to feel what is there.
In this way – we learn to Be in the moment, with self-acceptance.
If we learn to be in this moment, with self-acceptance – all the required cleansing will be done automatically. When the cleansing becomes automatic – we begin to see the flower that we really are.
The flower blooms anyway. The problem is not that we "don't bloom" – but that we don't see what our true flower is, because our heads are full with so much "nonsense", so many misconceptions about who we really are, how we are supposed to be, look, behave, etc.
We learn to be in the moment, and to let go of thinking of how we look… to be the way we Are, every day and in every moment.
We're not supposed to engage in the external at all (unless we feel like it), certainly not obsessively.
Instead – we can focus on what we feel and what we think, and be fully in this moment… Be Present.
When we do- it is actually equivalent to the synergy I presented earlier – the synergy between the Essence (the inner child) and the Presence (God).
In such a process, our "mirror of consciousness" (the mental aspect) is gradually cleansed – and then we can see the flower that we are. And then, knowing that – it is clearer to us what to do in life (fruit).
However, even when we already know what to do, we must take care not to get lost in this doing, in the fruit.
This is because "the fruit" has 3 characteristics:
1. It is external, it goes out to the world. The reactions we receive about the fruit from the outside tend to distort us, because we receive feedback. If we don't cleanse our need for positive feedback, and approval from the environment (feeling belonging, admiration, etc.) – it can distort our fruit.
2. The fruit comes and goes. It appears cyclically, but eventually the fruit runs out and disappears… until the next "round".
3. Likewise, there are periods in life when the fruit is more External, and there are periods in life when we go more inward- and there might be a fruit, but it is a more of an "internal" fruit, like a spiritual fruit, for instance.
To sum up, the fruit is an element that changes a lot, very dynamic… so holding on to it may pose a problem.
There are things we will never have to stop focusing on – the stem, the leaves and the roots.
As long as the plant puts out new leaves – this plant is alive. As soon as it stops putting out leaves, it dies.
Even a dying plant – until the last moment – there is always some new leaf.
We always have more ways of thinking and feeling about life. We always have insights into our thoughts and feelings – there is always another perspective, emotional or mental.
If we continue to focus on these aspects, as long as we live, we will not get lost in the externals.
The flower is like our essence. It is a Natural part of our being. But if we focus on it, we again begin to lose authenticity – because the essence is a part that is exposed to society, and it is something that we often receive feedback on from the outside.
As long as we have not deeply understood what our essence is – we may get confused by the external feedback we receive, get hung up on it, and lose authenticity.
All the more so – with the fruit, the action that stems from us. Sometimes we receive much more condensed feedback on our actions, and many times the feedback is financial, monitory.
Therefore, we should get to a place where we are Present. Present to our thoughts and feelings… and aware of our "roots" (the subconscious contents), and are allowing our outward expression be reborn, again & again. That means- not knowing who we are. Or knowing… for a moment… and then agreeing to forget it, to let go. Again & again.
And Again.
THEN – the "synergy" I mentioned at the beginning – takes place. Awareness connects with the essence – and we live Authentically.
This "sacrifice" – of who I think I am – and the willingness not to know who I am and what I should do… This- is the "crucifixion" I mentioned. This is what's meant by – living in the center of the cross – not imprisoned by the horizontal aspect (action, external expression in the world of time and space), AND being in frequent contact with the vertical aspect (the Divine impulse of this moment, beyond time and space).
This, to my understanding, is what Doug Scott calls- living in Liminal Space.
It is an Alive, courageous way to Be. And it is full of Faith.
